A 21st Century Carol by Annie Tomkins

On the twelfth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me:
Twelve broken tree lights
Eleven grinning selfies
Ten turkey curries
Nine gastric ulcers
Eight toxic cocktails
Seven drunken uncles
Six yelling children
 
Five trolled tweets…
 
Four soggy sprouts
Three wrong texts
Two Facebook likes
… and a cartilage in a sore knee!