Christmas is Cancelled by Bryan Andrews

The new UKNOW party swept to a surprise victory today and is poised to implement its controversial CANCEL CHRISTMAS policy. When challenged by Christmas supporters, the Prime Minister said “Bah Humbug” and set fire to his Santa hat. A gaggle of turkeys on the Minister's farm were reported to be heard gobbling appreciatively apparently wishing each other a “Happy Unchristmas”.
 
The implications of UKNOW's policy soon came into play… with no play, just work, at Xmas:
 
No Xmas parties for office hearties
Or drinking to excess
No boss to impress
No Xmas stress
 
No Xmas crackers with funny jokes in
No pubs with drunken blokes in
 
No Xmas sweaters of wrong sizes
No stockings filled with surprises
 
No Xmas bonus
Now the onus
Is on us
to work not play
for there is no Xmas day
 
No Xmas nativity play
where fond parents say
How Johnny pleased us
When he played baby Jesus
 
No carols on Xmas eve from King’s
No more of that song of Bing's
No Xmas cards, mince pies or sherry
Nothing that will make us merry
 
No bells that jingle
No chestnuts roasting in the fire
No Xmas pudding all alight
Not even a Silent Night
 
No red nosed reindeer
Just no Xmas pain dear
 
All is not well
When there is No Noel
 
Xmas cancelled just like by Cromwell
No Xmas carol with old Scrooge
No peace on earth and lots of goodwill
Now all has changed for our own good
 
When challenged by the Xmas Resistance, the Prime Minister responded with “Bah Humbug – uknow it’s all for a better UK
that we have cancelled Xmas day.
 
Bah Humbug rules ...OK.”